Saturday, April 01, 2006

when i was young.
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-poem by MELz.

A rubber ducky on my left,a barbie on my right.
Squeezed and played makeup,my world was just so bright.
I learned to walk when I was two,talk when I was three.
Momma always told me how cute I used to be.

I used my colour pencils,scribbled on the walls,
A slap on my cheek,spanking on my back,
Enforced by incredulous pain,I wailed and I shrieked,
Screaming to the empty air,no one bothered,no one cared.
Then,I started to bleed.

Hugging my little knees,squatting by the corner,
Insecurity overwhelmed,whoever turned off the lights?
I ran and ran,started to trip,
yet I couldn't escape from my mother's grip.

Thunderstorms ventilated,lightning shocked,
I felt fear,I felt pain,I felt threatened,
Yet everyday it was the same ordanities of life,
I couldn't laugh,I couldn't play,
Nothing was of interest,and those toys were gradually thrown away.

Gradually I knew life was just no game,
No more merry-go-rounds,no more fun fairs.
My dreams became my nightmares,
I was always the one to blame,
And,I realised I had to pretend,I had to feign.

I couldn't cry out loud,I couldn't complain.
No more games of catching,hide-and-seek,and hopscotch.
The tender memories soon faded away.
I couldn't focus,I couldn't sleep.
The outcome would always be bleak.
And I asked myself "why?" every single night,
yet all I had were tears blurring,forming a tide.

I told myself that everything would be alright,
yet I learned that flowers withered,and that the stars didnt always appear.
Happiness didn't last long,they took away everything from me,
My remorse transformed into anger,everyday I cried,
Frustration formed a monster in my mind,I ruined the years,
My years of adolescence soon drew near,
but nothing ended from the time I learned.

They say knowledge is important,
but what if it doesn't undo the knots in my heart?
I knew too much,it's been so long,
Since the day I started learning,
My fears still conceived in my heart,
I dont know what to do,

A rubber ducky on my left,a barbie on my right.
That was the past,a remnant of the broken pieces,
All that was left is discarded,nothing can be revived,
Those were times I learnt a lot,times I struggled to remain,
These times went away,
like me when i was young;

3:26 PM

`____mellisais productions-   Â©2005-2006





blog
this is a place where we compose poems and whatever we want. if you don't like it, DON'T READ IT.

the composers
melissa - elisabeth
mel/lissa - lisais
18 - 18
chij st.j - sphs

hotmail:
mel.isforreal - peachypeachypeach

aim:
n/a - whheex

gmail: thebeautiful.letdown@gmail.com - n/a

domains
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lisais

previous compositions
- the ancient mirror.
- Reincarnation
- MALTOSE! malt candy!
- The Living Corpse
- Fragile Hearts
- Definitions
- Bring me back
- Solitude
- A despotic lust.
- The Puppy


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credits
skin layout - rach